Legal Specialist Gifts

Bankruptcy Attorneys: "If you ain't broke, we can fix it."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

Barristers

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Truth

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"