Legal Professionals Gifts

Will give expert witness testimony for food

'I saved myself a fortune, by acting as my own defence lawyer.'

'I've been nominated 'Industrialist of the Year' and the Dept of Environment are going to prosecute me for pollution.'

Attorney Vending Services: In Case of Litigation.

Angels looking down from a cloud "It's when it comes to the contesting of the will that you find out who your friends were."

'We've had a lot of post on the legalization of cannabis.'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"Quick, everyone run before they invent lawyers!"

'Could you recommend a fruit that works for lawyers?'

'Case dismissed! -- I just reached retirement age!'

'The dog isn't qualified so we'll be billing his hours at half the usual rate.'

'Since this is my first time in court, I wonder if it would be all right if my attorney got a couple of shots of me lying under oath.'

Firing Squads and Targets

'Don't think of my client as a sex offender, Your Honor - think of him as having special needs.'

'That defense lawyer was really brilliant at jury selection...just ask the defendant!'

Cardinal Pell faces tough questions on sex abuse in catholic church

The annual running of the lawyers.

"Stop! Who's armed?"

Usher

". . . You didn't have to pay for gas and electricity for five years! That's enough compensation, isn't it?"

Lawyer, bishop and devils in tub, "If you want to sue God I'm your man."

"Finally I get the shot! Is it Pfizer, AstraZeneca or Moderna?"

'It was terrible -- four and twenty of us baked in a pie.'

"Truth in advertising."

N.Y. Counterfeit Press.

'My conscience is clear. I've issued an apology to the families of anyone I wrongfully sentenced to death.'

"Your honour, I must protest this is tampering with the jury!"

"Your honor, I'd like to request a new defense attorney!"

"I've hired more attorneys. I call it the Layered Lawyer Look for Spring."

"I ask you: is this the DNA sequence of an embezzler?"

Snell & Dunberg: Attorneys at Law - Thank You Litigious Society

Of course everyone likes you. You quit law school.

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'I suppose it's no worse than the smogs of the 1950's.'

Police compensation claim.