Legal Professions Gifts

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

Barry Leffler, stunt lawyer

'So, come back in fifteen minutes?...Twenty?'

Brewer & Jones: Washington, DC, New York, Attica, Leavenworth, Sing Sing.

David Culbertson Attorney At Law: Divorce, Criminal, Malpractice, Taxes, Oil changes

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Campaign for Plain English

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Barristers

Changing Minds

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Wal-Mart Ruling

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

Jester Surgeon

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."