Legal Practice Gifts

'If at first you don't succeed...appeal to a higher court.'

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

'Things are not going well but before I try pestilence, fire or flood again I'll just toss in a few more lawyers...'

A to Z Law Partnership

Business restraining law firms

"I always find the Contract Attorney's Special amusing. The price is always in extremely fine print."

"I'm ready. Are you ready? Let the billing begin!"

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Malpractice makes perfect.

"That's right, think of yourself all the time! I'm the one who will be losing a client for the next twenty years."

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"

'Paying for her legal advice is a waste of money, I mean where's the value?'

Pro-bono....anti-bono.

Ashford & Hayes Law Firm.

'Believe me, I have plenty of experience with cases like yours.'

Employees must wash hands after suing.

'I'm only doing pro-bono cases until I can find some well-paying anti-bono cases.'

"I can handle being disbarred. It's the disbilled part that really hurts."

"I think I've lost a step with age. Instead of suing I usually just wind up counter suing."

'A limited partnership? It means you can't sue or skim.'

'And then I discovered that two attorneys can live in a town where one cannot.'

'We haven't yet decided on the new partner...'

"I'd like to represent myself. . . though what as, I haven't yet decided."

"You know the rule, harte. The difficult cases we take; but the impossible cases we refer to the new lawyers in this area."

"I won that at law school for the quarter-mile ambulance chase."

Lawyers offices, with todays score card. - Won...Lost ...Tied

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

J. Estes Personal Injury Attorney

"I added up your billing hours."

'I take it, you're just starting out.'

Sports Lawyers

'It's a stressful time for him every year, he really worries about getting the numbers spot on!'

'Hang on I think Jeremy might be a bit dead!'

'Permission to remove the prejudicial punctuation marks that keep appearing over the witness's head, your honor.'

'Don't mention Law & Order.. I'm all Law.'