Starting A Law Practice Gifts

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

Call 1-800-JUSTICE for all your legal needs.

'Must you be so judgemental?'

All-Purpose attorney has all his specialisation running away from him

'For $5,000, I'm right beside you in court... for $10,000... I actually defended you.'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

'Where's my glove?'

Separation

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"Are you sure you're not holding your breath?"

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

Dentist Training School.

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

Counsel examining witness

"That's right, think of yourself all the time! I'm the one who will be losing a client for the next twenty years."

'I had them watch Court TV all night for background.'

"Objection, your honor! Prosecution is playing the blame game!"

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

"Sick? You're not sick! The money I owe on my student loans... now that's sick!"

"I charge by the grain."

'Objection, Your Honor...council is badgering the witness.'

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."

Sports Lawyers

'Our firm's speciality is getting hands out of cookie jars.'