Legal Practices Gifts

'Remember to bill for the time it takes to bill for the time it takes to bill.'

'I sue DEAD people.'

"When he left, he took all his things, including his name on the door."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"How should we divide the teams?"

Barristers

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

"Bailiff."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Jester Surgeon

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

Fifty shades of Leveson.

'So, come back in fifteen minutes?...Twenty?'