Practice Gifts

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

"How should we divide the teams?"

The Educated Golfer or The Instinctive Golfer

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Four children playing the flute.

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'Their daughter plays the violin.'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

'Why do I have to do this? -- Violins never solve anything!'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'Miss Peterson will be with you as soon as she goes through a few other resumes.'

"So how long have you been working the business?"

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

Junior Doctor.

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

'We've replaced the hiring bonus and the health coverage with a promise of a job.'

"That's right, think of yourself all the time! I'm the one who will be losing a client for the next twenty years."

Surgery Instructions.

"Thank you for making my decision to fire you, that much easier."

An angel bangs a broom on a cloud

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

A Kangermoo

"I charge by the grain."

"Kevorkian was confident of victory. Heimlich only had the one maneuver."

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

"We're having to go further than EVER to get the right people!"

Sleeping musician

Playing Doctors.

Sports Lawyers