Practice Gifts

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

"Yes! I got one over! Woo-hoo!"

"How should we divide the teams?"

The Educated Golfer or The Instinctive Golfer

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Four children playing the flute.

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'Their daughter plays the violin.'

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

'Why do I have to do this? -- Violins never solve anything!'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

'Miss Peterson will be with you as soon as she goes through a few other resumes.'

Junior Doctor.

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

"So how long have you been working the business?"

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

Surgery Instructions.

"That's right, think of yourself all the time! I'm the one who will be losing a client for the next twenty years."

'We've replaced the hiring bonus and the health coverage with a promise of a job.'

"Thank you for making my decision to fire you, that much easier."

A Kangermoo

An angel bangs a broom on a cloud

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

"I charge by the grain."

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

Sports Lawyers

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

"When he left, he took all his things, including his name on the door."

"We're having to go further than EVER to get the right people!"