Medical Practice Gifts

Internal Medicine, Nuclear Medicine, Laughter is the Best Medicine.

"There's no easy way I can tell you this, so I'm sending you to someone who can."

"… And then he goes around town whining about how much I charged him. What ever happened to 'doctor-patient confidentiality'?''

'On Mondays & Tuesdays, Dr. Pruess prractices conventional medicine; on Thursdays & Fridays, he practices alternative medicine.'

'I never make the same mistake twice!'

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

'Virtual patient.'

"Kevorkian was confident of victory. Heimlich only had the one maneuver."

"Could I get a second opinion?"

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

'I can see him around three...so give him an appointment for ten o'clock.'

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

'Level with me, Doc — it's contagious, isn't it?'

'Let's see now. My left is your right and your left is my right.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

vaccine wars.

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

A midwife holding a baby