Starting Medical Practice Gifts

"Sick? You're not sick! The money I owe on my student loans... now that's sick!"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

Happy Birthday to you.

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

Separation

'Where's my glove?'

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

"Are you sure you're not holding your breath?"

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

Dentist Training School.

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

'I would have come to you sooner, but you hadn't graduated from medical school yet.'

"This is a teaching hospital."

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

Surgery Instructions.

Med School Mascots.

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

Hanging out your shingle

Medical students learning how to perform a prostate examination.

Anatomy.