Zen Practice Gifts

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Shortly after attaining enlightenment, Hank reincarnates as a stone.

The Sound Of One Hand Clapping.

'So? -- What could be more Zen than empty calories?'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"I'm in the 56-year intensive program, all meals included."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Zenemies.

"How should we divide the teams?"

Yoga.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Yoga with Baby

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

"Hoarder."