Zen Devotee Gifts

"Would you look at him, with that more-enlightened-than-thou look on his face!"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

Man can levitate but can't hold fingers properly.

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

Working from OM.

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

Zen Litter Box

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

"When I was making money, I made the most money, and now that I'm spiritual I'm the most spiritual."

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

"Presenting a Few of New York Curiosities"

"My mental ink pen ran dry.