Zen Aficionados Gifts

'I just attained enlightenment, guys! - GROUP HUG!'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Dorothy, the lion, and the scarecrow, are suddenly confronted by the tin man of Oz.

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

'This bottle of whisky will give you 'Dutch courage', it's the best I can do.'

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

Ink in a prison made out of pens.

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

'It's Jones Sir! He's showing of his ball point pen again!'

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

Working from OM.

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

'Wheee!!' (Penguin using Walrus as a trampoline)

Weapens of Mass Instruction

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

Zen Litter Box

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

'Never, NEVER sneeze while you're levitating.'

Zombie Pulse Eating Vegans.

Zen Master Huineng

"You’ll get nothingness and like it."

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

"That explains the signature on the floorboard."

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

'Mr Gottlieb recently read one of those books on Japanese management techniques.'