Zen Aficionado Gifts

'This just isn't working - the mountains constantly remind me of the peaks and valleys of a business chart!'

It is true, we make our art in the sand, and then it is wiped clean to reflect the impermanence of life. Zen kitties. Litter.

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

A Japanese Zen master who has been meditating too long.

Zen Master Huineng

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Back to school.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

Jane Goodall's study of primates in the land of oz didn't go as well as her previous projects.

"Got any bathtub gin?"

Pregnant Panda at Edinburgh Zoo: 'Congratulations, Wilkinshaw...'

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

The Z Chromosome: Zebratic engineering with questionable results.

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

'...Do not feed the bears'

Elusive Shadow.

Aladdin and the magic telemarketer lamp. Your first 3 wishes are free!* *By accepting wishes, user agrees to lifetime monthly charges, activation fees, and all applicable taxes.

Ink in a prison made out of pens.

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

"I'm afraid that you have gnumonia."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

Working from OM.

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'