Zen Meditation Gifts

"When I ask you what you're thinking about and you say 'Nothing', is that 'nothing' as in the Infinite Void, the emptiness of Zen, the nothingness of Sartre and Lacan, ex nihilo nihil fit, or what?"

'Telling them there is no meaning to life only ruins it for the rest of us.'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Zenemies.

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

Yoga.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

Yoga with Baby

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Hoarder."

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

Zenboni

Relax.