Practice Enthusiast Gifts

"Well, if I practiced all day, too."

"Practice produces many benefits for the bass guitarist: smoother scales, faster arpeggios, and apparently the ability to peel a grapefruit with one hand."

'Let's practice lobs again.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"How should we divide the teams?"

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

Violent Crime Statistics

Lady Justice.

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

Junior Doctor.

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

'I need to learn a trade... so I know what kind of work I'm out of.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

Baby's first words.

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

"To be honest, I'm not sure if you marking your territory is legally binding in a boundary claim dispute."

'Hey, dad, I taught the dog to sit!'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'