Procedure Enthusiast Gifts

"The report is damning about the lack of strong leadership... I think we need to table some time to consider the option of setting up a policy sub-commitee to look at our options..."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

"He has a bureaucratic theory of evolution - 'Survival of the compliant.'"

"Why don't you come back in a couple of months? - I'll be retired then."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

London GPs could become an endangered species.

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

"Fruity nose, hints of wild cherry, soothing on the palate, goes well with cough and cold."

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

"We're all well aware of the madness, Phipps...where's the method?"

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

"Office of quality assurance"

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

First Aid Box

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

Anatomy.

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"Uh-Oh!"

'Excuse me, Professor Hippocrates...but when do we learn how to hit out of bunkers?'

"Take 4 teaspoons of this medicine every day. . ."

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

Break Glass in Case of Fire: Tiny Firemen.

'We've not met, but I'm your keyhole surgeon.'

Anatomy.

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

'Take two a day and in a couple of years you'll be a pharmacist!'

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."