Legal Industry Gifts

Corporate Lawyers

'Well people who said the SRA wasn't up to the job are going to have to eat their words now.'

'When you litigation win/loss matches Old McDonald's, you can dress like him, too.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

Barristers

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"Bailiff."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

'Unforeseeable future site of Hainesmore Industries.'

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

Jester Surgeon

Fifty shades of Leveson.

"Tariffs"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"