Teen In Training Gifts

"This leaf tells me you are not ready to drive."

"Just be yourself."

Rap music

Super Student

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

Yo! Emmett Kelly raps! (with ringmaster flash)

'Oh don't mind him - he's just a great big teddy bear.'

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

'I've got a cape. I think I can make it.'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

To Be/Not To Be

Dolphin tricks.

"I spy with my little eye, something beginning with..."

'It's called a 'hat' -- you tip it to women instead of hitting them over the head with a club.'

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

"Aw, Miss! Why do you always pick on me to answer the questions?"

"Do I have to pay the plaintiff the same amount again for each rerun of my case on TV?"

"This dog has wheels!"

'Virtual patient.'

Pantomime auditions - 'He'd be ideal as Buttons.'...'Oh, no he wouldn't.'...'Oh, yes he would!'

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

"There's a big difference between being a method actor and a meth OD'd actor, Burt."

'I think we took a wrong turn at Sodom or Gomoorah.'

Gertie's never been the same since she got the cape

'He still hasn't got the hang of it.'

"Oh, don't worry. Typical beginner's mistake."

'Yeah, I've got the new guy working on table wines. He seems to be getting the hang of it.'

'Daddy! Your hammer doesn't work good!'

He's working his way up to lions!

'Or there's a budget treatment with one of our trainees...'

'Our clientele is middle class; you know, your average Joe-750ml.'