Little Lawyer Gifts

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

Child protects planet with umbrella.

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'She dressed herself this morning.'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

"Two boys from legal to see you."

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

"My buildings are meant to inspire."

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

'Music hath charms,' &c.

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

Playing Doctors.

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

Daddy's Litigious Girl

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

"Anything?"

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

'I can't sign that behavior contract unless my attorney reviews it.'

"I think this is the last year he'll believe in Father Christmas, he's asking a lot of questions"

SANTA'S WORKSHOP, 'Kris, Kringle, Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas -- if you're on the level, why all the aliases?'