Mini Lawyer Gifts

'Pinky swear doesn't cut it anymore. My attorney has a few documents for you to sign.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

A baby playing on a grand piano

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

Rocking Horse

"Two boys from legal to see you."

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

'I can't take Barbie to Show and Tell...she doesn't have a thing to wear!'

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

"Trust me, Son, you do not want to 'grow up to be president.' "

"Dad since my pocket money isn't index linked, you've forced me to have to renegotiate."

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

"Lisa, your playdate is here!"

Doc's Kid.

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

Make good decisions!

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

'Let's arbitrate.'