Mini Barrister Gifts

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

Make good decisions!

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

I love Lawyers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Barristers

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"Bailiff."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

Law School teacher.

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."