Mini Attorney Gifts

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

SALE

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

A baby playing on a grand piano

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

"Two boys from legal to see you."

'That's my boy...'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

'I can't take Barbie to Show and Tell...she doesn't have a thing to wear!'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

Doc's Kid.

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

'Let's arbitrate.'

No toxic waste in my backyard!

'Giving a child a violin is like giving him a license to kill!'

Daddy's Litigious Girl

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."