Miniature Lawyer Gifts

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

"I think this is the last year he'll believe in Father Christmas, he's asking a lot of questions"

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

"Two boys from legal to see you."

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

"I tested very high in playing."

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

Make good decisions!

"He leaves the Sendak lying around, but he's never actually read it."

Daddy's Litigious Girl

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

'Oh Darren, I just love what you've done with your dung.'

Father Goldfish: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

They're class action figures.

'What do you mean, Poll Tax?'

'Oh, Charley, if you hear a report that I'm going to be married to that girl in black, you can contradict it. There's nothing in it.'

"'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' by Lilia Anya, all rights reserved, which includes the right to reproduce this essay or portions thereof in any form whatsoever, including, but not limited to, novel, screenplay, musical, television miniseries, home vid

'Pinky swear doesn't cut it anymore. My attorney has a few documents for you to sign.'

Children playing divorcees