Mini Litigator Gifts

Daddy's Litigious Girl

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

Yoga with Baby

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

"Two boys from legal to see you."

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

'Take me to your lawyer.'

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

"I decided to get comfortable...we have a lot to talk about."

"Dad since my pocket money isn't index linked, you've forced me to have to renegotiate."

"Trust me, Son, you do not want to 'grow up to be president.' "

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

"Congratulations, Counselor. It's a boy and your wife's fine. She just had a little difficulty passing his fin through the birth canal."

Out of Court Settlement

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

The Washington Arbitrators