Mini Litigator Gifts

Daddy's Litigious Girl

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

Yoga with Baby

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

"Two boys from legal to see you."

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

'Take me to your lawyer.'

"I decided to get comfortable...we have a lot to talk about."

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

"Dad since my pocket money isn't index linked, you've forced me to have to renegotiate."

"Trust me, Son, you do not want to 'grow up to be president.' "

"Congratulations, Counselor. It's a boy and your wife's fine. She just had a little difficulty passing his fin through the birth canal."

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

Out of Court Settlement

Make good decisions!

"I forget the difference - is this a crocodile or a litigator?"