Mini Agent Gifts

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

The Anti-Agent

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"When did she start crawling?"

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

"I'm going crazy staring at the same four legs."

Meet Santa's entourage

Kids playing with the cardboard box instead of the expensive toys.

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

Snow White and her Seven people.

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"Apparently we have an informant in our midst."

"I think they may have rumbled me, Sarge."

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

'Therapy in L.A.'