Mini Detective Gifts

'It's all part of a diabolical plot to get me to do my homework!'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'I'd love to tell who did it, but I'm protecting my source.'

'Jimmy takes these Easter Egg hunts very seriously.'

'It's just homework...there's no conspiracy.'

"Okay, but before I tell you who broke the window I'll have to check you're not wearing a wire."

A boy acting suspiciously

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

Who stole my candy?

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

'Your father installed a security system.'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'Wait a minute! I think our line has been tapped.'

Kid to mom: 'How come I ask so many questions?'

'Did you see who pushed you?'

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

'How do you measure the success of your blog?'

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

'-But,son they couldn't put a horse in a box THAT size, could they?

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."

'I gather this is your first sting operation.'

"I've never met one, but I hear offices have fire drills."

"Anything?"

'Sounds to me like you're not getting enough REM sleep.'

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."