Micro Detail Detective Gifts

'How do you measure the success of your blog?'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

The Devil's in the detail!

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"He's sulking because I always beat him at Clue ... "

Micro and Macro Department,

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

Don't forget to read the small print.

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

Fine Print Letters

Devil in the detail

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

Sigmund Freud.

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

When pedants take a break.

Micromanagement

I spy with my little eye in the sky …

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

"You arrive early, You work hard, You stay focused. What's your game?"

'Wait a minute! I think our line has been tapped.'