Little Detective Gifts

"Anything?"

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

"I've been thinking about your bedtime story, and something doesn't make sense."

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

SANTA'S WORKSHOP, 'Kris, Kringle, Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas -- if you're on the level, why all the aliases?'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

A boy acting suspiciously

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

Sun Flower.

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

Who stole my candy?

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

Junior Doctor.

'Oh,oh, Regina has her lawyer with her.'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

"It's not what you think."

"There's a rumour going around my head that you don't love me."

'Fancy coming on a man hunt?'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

"We're compatible in every way. That's my concern; we have nothing to argue about."

'You're free to go. Another suspect matching the description of having big ears and a trunk has just been arrested for the circus stampede.'

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

Kid to mom: 'How come I ask so many questions?'

'I don't know what they see in her. . . I think I'll take a closer look.'

Trick questions...

'Did you see who pushed you?'

"You weren't playing hard to get! You were scared of commitment!"

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."