Little Dessert Detective Gifts

'What kinda dessert will I miss out on if I don't eat this stuff'

Diner.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

Cake Free Zone

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Another day in the Splenda mines

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

Pie Filling Reader

"Over here, Carol! I've found one with a caramel center!"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"That's part of my Quality Control Program."

Cookie Surveillance

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

Missing Easter Egg

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

Who stole my candy?

"When it comes to what you eat, this healthy plate simply can't compete, with something sweet!"

Doughnut Criminals

'I understand about strangers, but is it okay to take candy from Federal agents?'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"It's marzipan pigs."

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

'Something tells me I shouldn't have had these around Easter.'

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

"I'll have the carrot cake, hold the carrots."

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

'You hate to see this kind of thing.'