Dessert Dud Detective Gifts

'Diet cake: Mix flour, sugar and eggs in a bowl. Pour it into a baking tin at 200°C for 30 minutes and let it cool down. Then, feed it to the birds.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'How is the water prepared?'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Pie Filling Reader

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

Missing Easter Egg

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

"Don't tell him anything."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Who stole my candy?

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

'Mine was stone cold.'

Plane with banner shoots at another.

"Yes, a table for three: me, him and his ego."