Dessert Dud Detective Mugs

'Diet cake: Mix flour, sugar and eggs in a bowl. Pour it into a baking tin at 200°C for 30 minutes and let it cool down. Then, feed it to the birds.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'How is the water prepared?'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Pie Filling Reader

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"Don't tell him anything."

Missing Easter Egg

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

Who stole my candy?

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Plane with banner shoots at another.

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

"Yes, a table for three: me, him and his ego."

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.