Defective Detective Gifts

"This consumer durable isn't."

A boy acting suspiciously

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

"Are you feeling okay, Dennis? Your obituary is in the paper."

"It's a setup."

"Skip the ghost stories. Tell us your conspiracy theory again!"

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

"See...polystyrene!"

'I am a bit suspicious...In my experience, there is no such thing as a 'Free Lunch'...'

"Do me a favor, Harlow. When you greet me, stop saying 'Hello, big spender!'"

'I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message.'

"They're not home.."

"The $350 we received to stimulate the economy is still missing..."

'Did you see who pushed you?'

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'

"He's not a big, bad wolf, Gramps - he's a predatory insurance agent!"

Think Zero Defects

'84% of our losses are due to accounting errors.'

'I gather this is your first sting operation.'

"Oh, gosh, oh no, you've found me out..."

The Fifth Annual Crow Convention - "If you ask me, I reckon it looks like a murder!"

'I've been lying to you, darling. I'm not really Godzilla, King of the Monsters...'

'Do you have poor credit? . . . Visit paydayloanshark.com for instant cash!'

look out it might be a fake

'OK you didn't eat the rabbit, I believe you; snakes are no strangers to plausible deniability.'

'Wait -- look! All this time we've been fooled by a blue-screen background and wires!'

Office of Management and Budget door is upside down and is closed.

'The budget deficit is falling! The budget deficit is falling!'

'Diet cake: Mix flour, sugar and eggs in a bowl. Pour it into a baking tin at 200°C for 30 minutes and let it cool down. Then, feed it to the birds.'

"Do you offer a warranty?"

Conspiracy theories club - trust no one! (CCTV cameras watching each other).

"Are you mad at me or just chewing tobacco?"