Devious Detective Gifts

'I don't trust him - he's got beady eyes.'

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'Okay - who leaked?'

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

"It's a setup."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"Skip the ghost stories. Tell us your conspiracy theory again!"

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

"See...polystyrene!"

Carl shrewdly dupes his co-workers into believing that he is totally committed to the new mandatory overtime policy,

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"So in other words, we're hoping to discover what makes the nitty, gritty."

'I am a bit suspicious...In my experience, there is no such thing as a 'Free Lunch'...'

"You arrive early, You work hard, You stay focused. What's your game?"

'Take a look at this everyone - it just could be the signature we've been looking for.'

"$68,000? You said that deceptive ad would cost me $23,000."

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'

"I know at least two people who will sleep easier with him behind bars."

"Wake up, Jane! There's a giant talking squirrel at the end of your bed!"

"I'd like to introduce our guest speaker, here to speak about the phenomenon of deja vu."

"He's not a big, bad wolf, Gramps - he's a predatory insurance agent!"

'Did you see who pushed you?'

"They're not home.."

For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

'Who am I?'

'I gather this is your first sting operation.'

'Do you have poor credit? . . . Visit paydayloanshark.com for instant cash!'

'I've been lying to you, darling. I'm not really Godzilla, King of the Monsters...'

"So, did you hear about all the excitement?"