Devious Detective Gifts

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'Okay - who leaked?'

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"It's a setup."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"Skip the ghost stories. Tell us your conspiracy theory again!"

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"See...polystyrene!"

"So in other words, we're hoping to discover what makes the nitty, gritty."

'I am a bit suspicious...In my experience, there is no such thing as a 'Free Lunch'...'

"You arrive early, You work hard, You stay focused. What's your game?"

'Take a look at this everyone - it just could be the signature we've been looking for.'

"$68,000? You said that deceptive ad would cost me $23,000."

"They're not home.."

"He's not a big, bad wolf, Gramps - he's a predatory insurance agent!"

'Did you see who pushed you?'

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'

"I'd like to introduce our guest speaker, here to speak about the phenomenon of deja vu."

"I know at least two people who will sleep easier with him behind bars."

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

'I gather this is your first sting operation.'

'Who am I?'

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

"So, did you hear about all the excitement?"

'Do you have poor credit? . . . Visit paydayloanshark.com for instant cash!'

'I've been lying to you, darling. I'm not really Godzilla, King of the Monsters...'