Playful Detective Gifts

'Did you see who pushed you?'

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

A boy acting suspiciously

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

Who stole my candy?

"What are you in for?"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

'Fancy coming on a man hunt?'

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

'You're free to go. Another suspect matching the description of having big ears and a trunk has just been arrested for the circus stampede.'

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

"I don't use straws anymore. Straws are bad for the environment."

Murdered man spells out his murderer in alphabet soup.

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

"So, you've got butterflies in your stomach, a bug in your ear and a bee in your bonnet. Any other complaints?"

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

I can carry all the plastic bags I need!

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

'He died of too much money.'

'Just move along...Nothing core to see here.'

'I gather this is your first sting operation.'

'I don't think there's anyone home...Or am I just being naive?...'

"Ha! I found you . . . and with my wife!"

The Fifth Annual Crow Convention - "If you ask me, I reckon it looks like a murder!"

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

"Uh-oh!. . . Look out! Where did he come from? Something spooky is going on in this picture...Can you spot it?"

"Clever plot, but who can concentrate without some gratuitous sex and violence?"

"Seriously, you don't know how to float?"

"Damn. No hat."