Divining Detective Gifts

"Sparkling or still" "Stop showing off Ted"

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'Okay - who leaked?'

"It seemed like a long timeout."

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

'Wow! -- Talk about family values!'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

"It says God created heaven and earth, then there was light. Why didn't He do it the other way round, when He could see what He was doing?"

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

"So in other words, we're hoping to discover what makes the nitty, gritty."

"That's not what I said."

"You arrive early, You work hard, You stay focused. What's your game?"

'Take a look at this everyone - it just could be the signature we've been looking for.'

"Dogs can detect cancer, and mice can detect tuberculosis."

'Well you can tell Dr. Zimler that you don't have Dalnik's syndrome, and, in fact, I think you have Zimler's syndrome.'

'Did you see who pushed you?'

"We're well known for our freshly cooked food. Your order will be ready in a few minutes, Madame."

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

'Dad put that sign there to keep tabs on my driving!'

The Water Diviner

'I gather this is your first sting operation.'

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

"Take it easy! Thinking snow doesn't mean necessarily mean wanting snow!"

"You asked for the soup of the day, you didn't specify what day."

"It's his body language. All I hear is snorting, burping, and ominous rumblings from his lower extremities."