Mystical Detective Gifts

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Of course I'm paranoid and delusional, dummy! -- I was abducted by aliens, for crying out loud!'

'Okay - who leaked?'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

Water divining Mars

'You are not haunted by the voices of the dead - You are tuned to four extra.'

'You're an inspector now?'

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

"Remember the night in the Tetons when we smoked so much weed we thought we were hallucinating?"

Palm Reader...

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

"I'll be right back."

"Finally, I would just like to reassure the American public that ther is NO 'great U.F.O. cover-up...'."

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

'And that's your idea of a desk calendar...'

"I'm looking for a book on ESP..." "I know..."

'This spreadsheet program has really been enhanced since I installed the Ouija board.'

Rum Mage Sale Today

Two psychics have shops next to each other; one advertises "Second Opinions".

'Should I buy or sell?'

Vending Machine: Epiphanies... Now in six yummy varieties!

'I gather this is your first sting operation.'

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

"You will be going on a long journey..."

"This, of course, is a medium strength medication."

'I keep getting his answering machine.'

'I suppose 'how did the mystery serial end? was better than no message at all.'

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness