Mystic Researcher Gifts

Grigori Rasputin

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Czarcasm

Quantum Psychic

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

'Your future looks charming.'

A voodoo doctor.

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

"That? Oh, it's last year's calendar."

Nostradamus.

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

"Evidence of Bigfoot or just some clown?"

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

Palm Reader...

"Remember the night in the Tetons when we smoked so much weed we thought we were hallucinating?"

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

"I'll be right back."

Wiccapedia.

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

"I have grave news."

A self-filling prophecy.

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

'Why, thank you -- I made it out of a molehill.'

'When will it be o.k. to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

Rum Mage Sale Today

Psychic: Palm reading, tarot, and lost and found.