Mystical Explorer Gifts

Vending Machine: Epiphanies... Now in six yummy varieties!

'Should I buy or sell?'

"Can you just tell me where I put my keys?"

'Did you hear me tell that gypsy woman what she could do with her pegs.'

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

"OMG! Unbelievable! Oh dearie, dearie me. OMG!"

"Remember the night in the Tetons when we smoked so much weed we thought we were hallucinating?"

"This, of course, is a medium strength medication."

'I keep getting his answering machine.'

'You'll fall in love with a fool. Unfortunately his money has already departed.'

Rum Mage Sale Today

'You are going on a journey - strictly speaking you will never leave Basingstoke but I use the current popular metaphor...'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"You have a really weird energy."

Palm Reader...

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

'You're going to make an elderly clairvoyant financially sound.'

"If you'd like a second opinion, I also do Tarot readings."

Do you want all nine read in order?

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

Czarcasm

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

The search for Bigfoot continues for a group of women who know that if his feet are THAT big...

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"