Celestial Detective Gifts

"Say - it's over a month since we last told the press we've observed a strange object we've never seen before."

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

Sally and Joe's relationship really worked. . . they each had the space to do their own thing.

Alien flies in a spaceship out of a postbox.

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

'Okay - who leaked?'

The EP-21 spy plane.

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

Newton's Law and Order.

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

'Wow! -- Talk about family values!'

Royalty, Episcopacy, and Law.

"Did no one tell you that at this time of year everybody flies south?"

God Plays Baseball with the Earth

'It's nothing personal, Donald; I just need more space.'

But what the asteroid hadn't counted on was the plucky courage and dogged determination of one young man. Albert Snipe, asteroid hunter.

Oregon Eclipse Watching, August 21, 2017

Any news on that star that might have a Dyson sphere around it? Nothing new. I mean, they discovered the star's probably been dimming ever since 1890, which could lend credence to the notion an alien race has been building a Dyson sphere. By they discovered that a few months ago. There's been nothing since then, so ... whatever. Must be nothing there. They should do a study to see how long it takes your attention span to dim. What? Why? What're we talking about?

Johannes Kepler

Testing the Big Bangs theory.

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

'Needless to say, discus-thrower Bill Nordlander went to college on a full athletic scholarship.'

Two psychics have shops next to each other; one advertises "Second Opinions".

First space criminal investigation

'I think I finally spotted a star between the spy satellites.'

'...I think I found Ursa Major.'

"I don't know—maybe we could look at something besides Canis Major tonight?"

"Yeah, it works, but you still shouldn't have forgotten the flag!"