Mirror Detective Gifts

"So if you don't want to know the final score, look away from your TV screen now."

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

Elusive Shadow.

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

Office of the PR of the United States

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

Violence on TV.

Tony Blair and Blairwash.

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

"A minute on the lips"

"You're so vein."

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

'I gather this is your first sting operation.'

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."

'I'd love to tell who did it, but I'm protecting my source.'

"How come you're always checking the mirrors at home, but never once in the car?!"

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

"Anything?"

'Really, Frank... The late news is so depressing - and it's the same thing every night... Why do you even turn it on?'

Telescopes.

"Uh-oh!. . . Look out! Where did he come from? Something spooky is going on in this picture...Can you spot it?"

The Short Hop From Boomer To Delusional

"Man! I gotta stop snacking on that devil's food cake before bedtime!"

"Darn, I've done it again!"

SANTA'S WORKSHOP, 'Kris, Kringle, Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas -- if you're on the level, why all the aliases?'

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