Mystic Inquirer Gifts

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Czarcasm

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

"Did you have a cat?"

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

A voodoo doctor.

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"That? Oh, it's last year's calendar."

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

Nostradamus.

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"I'm afraid your wife gets to say 'I told you so.'"

'Hold it right there, pal! I had a vision that your check is going to bounce, so you can just head right back to your car!'

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."

"Remember the night in the Tetons when we smoked so much weed we thought we were hallucinating?"

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

"I have grave news."

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'

A self-filling prophecy.