Defective Detective T-Shirts

"This consumer durable isn't."

A boy acting suspiciously

'I don't trust him - he's got beady eyes.'

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

"Are you feeling okay, Dennis? Your obituary is in the paper."

"It's a setup."

"Skip the ghost stories. Tell us your conspiracy theory again!"

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

"See...polystyrene!"

'I am a bit suspicious...In my experience, there is no such thing as a 'Free Lunch'...'

"Do me a favor, Harlow. When you greet me, stop saying 'Hello, big spender!'"

'I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message.'

"They're not home.."

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'

"He's not a big, bad wolf, Gramps - he's a predatory insurance agent!"

"The $350 we received to stimulate the economy is still missing..."

'Did you see who pushed you?'

Think Zero Defects

'84% of our losses are due to accounting errors.'

'I gather this is your first sting operation.'

'I've been lying to you, darling. I'm not really Godzilla, King of the Monsters...'

The Fifth Annual Crow Convention - "If you ask me, I reckon it looks like a murder!"

'Do you have poor credit? . . . Visit paydayloanshark.com for instant cash!'

"Oh, gosh, oh no, you've found me out..."

'OK you didn't eat the rabbit, I believe you; snakes are no strangers to plausible deniability.'

look out it might be a fake

'Wait -- look! All this time we've been fooled by a blue-screen background and wires!'

Office of Management and Budget door is upside down and is closed.

'The budget deficit is falling! The budget deficit is falling!'

'Diet cake: Mix flour, sugar and eggs in a bowl. Pour it into a baking tin at 200°C for 30 minutes and let it cool down. Then, feed it to the birds.'

"Do you offer a warranty?"

Conspiracy theories club - trust no one! (CCTV cameras watching each other).