Misinterpretation Detective Gifts

"Are you mad at me or just chewing tobacco?"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Love at First Sight

"My guess it's guacamole."

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

"Are you feeling okay, Dennis? Your obituary is in the paper."

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

"It's a setup."

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

"See...polystyrene!"

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

'And that's your idea of a desk calendar...'

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

"They're not home.."

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'

"He's not a big, bad wolf, Gramps - he's a predatory insurance agent!"

"Oh, gosh, oh no, you've found me out..."

'Mrs. Peterson. . . Sgt. O'Leary here, I'm afraid there's been an accident and your husband is in a comma.'

'I've been lying to you, darling. I'm not really Godzilla, King of the Monsters...'

look out it might be a fake

'OK you didn't eat the rabbit, I believe you; snakes are no strangers to plausible deniability.'

Fake news on social media

'...and then, when I asked if I could see her home, she showed me a photograph of her house.'

"That isn't what the doctor meant by 'push fluids'."

'Wait -- look! All this time we've been fooled by a blue-screen background and wires!'

"Look, told ya – it’s a Romney poster!"

"Honey, I got a brand-new bow for our car!"

"Till now I always thought of the gravy train as a good thing."

'And here you can see one of the incredibly boring amusement park rides that were so beloved in the 20th century.'

'This is a rip-off!'

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect the glasses?'

'Nice try with the scraggly outfits. However, I saw you pull up in the 2007 Mercedes CL 550'

'What do you mean, 'No warranty??' The user manual does not say that I can't send a Cappuccino by email!'

'You know perfectly well what 'Stop and fill her up' means, Mr.Wainwright!'

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! The Senate. They tried AGAIN to repeal Obamacare, this time by hiding it in the tax bill. When's it going to stop? It's so repetitive. This reminds me of "Groundhog Day," that film where that lovely Mr. Bill Murray went from having a great personality to being a horrible loser. Um ... I don't think that's what you were supposed to take from the movie. There is one adorable deleted scene with a chainsaw. It's on the Youtube.