Misinterpretation Humorist Gifts

"Look, told ya – it’s a Romney poster!"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Love at First Sight

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

"My guess it's guacamole."

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

"I meant the dog!"

Mistaken identity.

"Are you blushing?!"

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

'Boy, plastic flowers these days are so lifelike: I've been fooled again...'

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

'So you are a writer?'

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

'Not that sort of pool party.'

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

'When you said the tractor was down, I thought...'

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

"I wasn't dead yet."

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

"When he was yelling stroke, stroke, stroke...I just thought he was counting!"

"It said on the tin 'put on 2 coats'..."

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

'Big Tony said I'll be sleeping with the fishes. I think he's gonna take me to an aquarium!'

"Did you watch the super bowl?"