Misinterpretation Humorist Gifts

"Look, told ya – it’s a Romney poster!"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Love at First Sight

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

"My guess it's guacamole."

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

"I meant the dog!"

Mistaken identity.

No! I said a 100-foot Piazza!

"Are you blushing?!"

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

'Boy, plastic flowers these days are so lifelike: I've been fooled again...'

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

'So you are a writer?'

'Not that sort of pool party.'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

"I wasn't dead yet."

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

'When you said the tractor was down, I thought...'

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

When you said it was a place with women and a bar I didn't think you meant a ballet class.

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

"When he was yelling stroke, stroke, stroke...I just thought he was counting!"

"Aunt Mary, I think you may not have heard me right. I requested a bundt cake."

"It said on the tin 'put on 2 coats'..."

'Big Tony said I'll be sleeping with the fishes. I think he's gonna take me to an aquarium!'

"Did you watch the super bowl?"