Miscommunication Humorist Gifts

"I asked for a sand wedge!"

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

'Hello, Learn Direct, how can I help? Hello, Learn Direct...'

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

"Hey Rayna, want some candy?"

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

'You are a fool...I said 'Why don't you wear a BANDANA!'

'What do you mean... how am I?'

Fred, refusing to wear his hearing aid, misheard his editor who said he needed a reliable source for his feature article.

"I meant the dog!"

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"Seriously? You bought me a boa? How silly of you, Henry...no one wears those anymore!"

'I could sweat the invitation said '7 a.m.'.'

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

'So you are a writer?'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

'Another failure to communicate?'

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"