Miscommunication Humor Gifts

Bar code meeting

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

"I meant the dog!"

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

'So you are a writer?'

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

"This to you left me says you want a wok."

Shoot...not literally, of course.

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

'Your chart here says you've had some sort of allergic reaction to frogs' legs...can you be more specific?'

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"