Miscommunication Gifts

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

"Oh, it was cheap socks you were offering, my mistake."

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"I meant the dog!"

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

Shoot...not literally, of course.

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

'I did not call you a 'bar fly'! I said; 'I'll be back, briefly'.'

'You are a fool...I said 'Why don't you wear a BANDANA!'

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"