Modern Miscommunication Gifts

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"I meant the dog!"

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

Shoot...not literally, of course.

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

"You said you wanted an Easter-related present."

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"

'You are a fool...I said 'Why don't you wear a BANDANA!'

'I said Mascarpone not Mask A Pony!'