Miscommunication Aficionados Gifts

"My mistake Guvnor - I thought you said CRAP circles!"

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

"I meant the dog!"

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

'So you are a writer?'

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

Look, XYXX! They're friendly!

When you said it was a place with women and a bar I didn't think you meant a ballet class.

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

"Aunt Mary, I think you may not have heard me right. I requested a bundt cake."

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

Sea kelp? I said "seek help"!

Dyslexic Doomsayers.

"...But I don't want to get in the back Norma, I want to stay in the front with you"

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

Shoot...not literally, of course.