Digital Miscommunication Aficionado Gifts

"No, they're not mooning you, that's a peach emoji."

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"I meant the dog!"

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

Complaints departement for men and women.

"OK Hunter. Go join the 'non-verbal criticism skills' seminar!"

"When you put it like that, it makes complete sense."

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"I meant to let Mr. Goldman know I’d be happy to work on Saturday, but I accidentally typed, ‘I hope your house is infested by termites.’"

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

Computer Address Book.

'The problem is, you say no problem.'

The speech is ethical. One source is plagiarism, two is research.

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Head office says that transparency in communicating internally and with clients is of paramount importance..."

"Your apology rings hollow. Let's try it again, without the attitude."

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

"Is this in case the electric grid goes down and we can't text or tweet?"

'Todd... I just feel like you're never here for me!'

Luckily for Sarah, her training had included a unit on detecting signs of negative body language.

'Hi, it's me, my therapist said I should communicate more...'

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

"She started it."